Irish jokes
The Irish joke of the day, and a few more.
Best Irish Jokes of the year
Starting in January, I began posting an Irish Joke of the day every Monday. The majority of them were paraphrased from jokes I'd heard around Athlone, a few I even made up myself.
Irish Joke of the day - Lucky pig
One day an American tourist walked into an Irish pub somewhere in County Roscommon. Strangely enough, under the American's arm was a healthy, Irish pig.
Irish Joke of the day - A bull of a problem
Three Irish bulls were chatting with each other about rumours they had heard about their farmer bringing a new bull to the farm. The eldest of the three had been on the farm for 10 years.
Irish joke of the day - Top 15 Signs you've been in Athlone too long
Inspired by last week's post on signs you've been in your Irish town too long , I've made a list up for Athlone. Additional suggestions are welcome!
Irish Joke of the day - Signs you've been in your Irish town too long
I thought this deserved re-posting but, unfortunately, I have no idea who wrote it originally. Reading it though, I'll have to make one up for Athlone. Maybe next week . . .
Irish Joke of the day - Irish veterinarian
One day a woman who owned a pet duck awoke to find her beloved animal lying still upon the floor.
Irish Joke of the day - Top 10 signs you're being stalked by a Leprechaun
The top 10 signs you're being stalked by a leprechaun: 10. Generic-looking green transit van with darkened windows parked across the road with "I brake for imps" bumper sticker. 9.
Irish Joke of the day - Diplomacy
It is said that the definition of Irish diplomacy is the ability to tell a man to go to Hell in such a way that he'll be looking forward to the trip.
Irish Joke of the Day - Escapee
A man escaped from a mental institution in Ballinasloe. He ran until he got to Mullingar, at which point he located a public phone and rang the hospital back in Ballinasloe.
Irish joke of the day - Yankee Policeman in Ireland
A US police officer was on exchange in County Tipperary in Ireland with the Garda as part of a new law enforcement program between the two countries.
Irish Joke of the day - The collision
One night on the small, dark Irish country roads an Englishman and an Irishman were driving recklessly and collided, demolishing both of their cars.
Irish Joke of the day - 10 pints of Guinness
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers.
Irish Joke of the Day - Magical Lift
An Irish family from the country made their first visit into Dublin City. The girl and her mother went into the clothing shops while the husband and son continued to explore.
Irish Joke of the day - God's Hotline
On vacation in Europe, Bob noticed a marble column in a church in Rome with a golden telephone on it. As a young priest passed by, Bob asked who the telephone was for.
Irish Joke of the day - Religion and Prostitutes
One afternoon Paddy and Mick were having a pint at a pub across from a brothel. For the craic, they sat in the front so they could watch the comings and goings across the street.
Irish Joke of the day - A terrible thing
There was an Irish family who wanted very much to have a baby. They were poor, but they did what they could to buy vitamins and folic acid and all the things a mother needs to bear a healthy child.
Irish Joke of the day - cheap shot
What do you call someone who hangs around and annoys Irish musicians? A bodhrán player.
Irish Joke of the day - Texan in Ireland
Jeb from Texas is visiting Ireland. Paddy is given the task of showing Jeb around and, upon learning that Jeb is a farmer, Paddy takes him out to the country to show him his farm.
Irish Joke of the day - helping hands
Paddy and Mick were sitting in their local pub in Limerick one evening when Mick asked about Paddy's recent trip to Dublin. "So, how'd you get on?" Asked Mick.
Irish Joke of the day - spuds for dad
An older Irish pensioner was living alone somewhere in Northern Ireland. He had an only son who had been arrested on suspicion of arms trading.
Irish Joke of the day - A dead horse
Two Irish lads met at their local one weekend. They got to discussing the week's events and Mick asked Paddy about his horse, who had fallen ill.
Irish Joke of the day - Fidelity
There was three lads - a lad from England, and lad from Scotland and a lad from Ireland. They got to talking amongst themselves and determined that their wives were cheating on them.
Irish Joke of the day - Sainted slander
It was a quiet day in an English pub and a few local blokes were feeling like starting a bit of trouble. Well, just then Paddy Irishman had the misfortune to walk in and order a pint of stout.
Irish Joke of the day - Atheism
Paddy Catholic and Paddy Atheist were sitting at a bar comparing their philosophies. Paddy Catholic says, "There has to be a God." "There is no God." insisted Paddy atheist.
Irish Joke of the day - Cheap Therapy
An Irishman and a woman arrive at a relationship therapist's office and explain that they are having trouble with their intimate matters.
Irish Joke of the day - Your Man's Bananas
Readers unfamiliar with the Irish vernacular, should check out this week's slang term before reading this joke.
Irish Joke of the day - Two clever
Paddy Irishman frequented a busy pub near his home. The problem he would have is that every time he got up to go for a cigarette someone would end up drinking his pint before he got back.
Irish Joke of the day - Saints Alive
Paddy Irishman, Paddy Scotsman, Paddy Englishman and Paddy Welshman were having a few pints down the pub on April 23rd.
Irish Joke of the day - Tour de France
Two Kerrymen were sitting in a pub when the Tour de France came onto the television. The two lads watched the cyclists for a while when one asked, "Why do they do that?" "Do what?" said the other.
Irish Joke of the day - Catholic Canine
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, my dog is dead.
Irish Joke of the day - Paddy meets a genie
Paddy is out walking one day when he accidentally kicks an old bottle against a stone, causing it to break open.