Irish Joke of the day - Irish veterinarian

One day a woman who owned a pet duck awoke to find her beloved animal lying still upon the floor. Deeply concerned, she rushed him to the local veterinarian, who was known to be a grumpy and contrary man.

The vet asked her to put her duck upon the examination table and prodded the waterfowl a few times with a biro. Nothing happened. Turning to the woman, he announced,

“Madam, your duck is dead. That’s gonna be 20 euro.”

Well, she became very upset upon hearing this and cried, “Surely it can’t be true! Isn’t there something else you can try - he just can’t be dead! Can I have a second opinion?”

At that the vet gave a sharp whistle and a black labrador retriever bounded into the room.

The dog approached the table, sniffed the duck a few times and then retreated, backwards, to the corner where he lay down and put his paws over his head.

“Now do you believe me?” the vet said to her again, “Your duck is dead.”

“What was that?!” she cried, “You call that a proper examination? I demand you give him a proper examination!”

The vet then made a “whshhh! Whshhhh!” sound and a cat entered the room. He leaped onto the table with the duck and carefully walked all around it, peering at it intently from all angles. Then he leapt to the floor, retreated next to the labrador and lay down, also putting its paws over its head.

“Well!” said the vet, “I think we can safely conclude that your duck is, indeed, dead.”

“You’re insane,” replied the woman. “I’m taking my duck and going to another veterinarian. Now, how much do I owe you again?”

“One hundred and forty euro,” replied the vet. The woman was shocked.

“Just a minute ago you said it was just twenty euro!” she cried.

“Yes,” replied the vet, “but since then we’ve had a cat scan and a lab report.”

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Cheers to kieran for this one