Podge and Rodge Dolls

In what is bound to be Ireland’s Tickle me Elmo fiasco, RTE has released talking stuffed Podge and Rodge dolls for christmas.

Squeeze their tummies to hear such charming phrases as “You scuttering gobsheen!” and “What in Satan’s armpit is going on?”

The dolls are, reportedly, selling out fast with waiting lists at various retailers around the country . . . and it’s not even December yet.

I snapped the pic there to the left at a local shop. I have heard some parents’ groups are distressed that the controversial Podge and Rodge are available as dolls - something that appeals to Irish kids. The two lads are definitely not for kids. Wondering how rude they were, I gave them a few squeezes in the shop and was surprised and slightly disappointed to find that the dolls’ 11-phrase vocabulary doesn’t really merit censorship . . . though some would certainly cause parents concern. The worst one is Rodge’s “Talk to the back of me sack” or possibly, “Eh, do I’ve time for a tug?”

But it could be so much worse. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, listed below are some of Podge and Rodge’s ruder phrases:

You’re as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit
Jayus, she could breastfeed a crèche
That’s as funny as a burning orphanage
He’s so camp, he shites tent pegs
I’m as sick as a plane to Lourdes
I’d crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of the van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.
He had a mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard
She had a fanny like a badly packed kebab

(that last one is especially rude here in Ireland)

Have to have a pair? Check out Smyth’s Toys or have a goo at ebay